Life Story Lady

November is Family Stories Month...

...and what better time for sharing family stories than when we’re all sitting around the dinner table at Thanksgiving as a group. Of course, any meal would be a great time to share stories, but at Thanksgiving we tend to get more of the family in one room at the same time. Each of us has a life story that should be shared with future generations. It's more than a memoir, it's a part of history.

This year, why not plan a few fun ways to get some of those stories out of your memory banks, and onto paper.  Here are a couple of ideas for starters.

• Have each child choose an adult and ask them a couple of questions about their life. You could prepare a list of questions ahead of time, in case the kids can’t come up with something on their own, but it would be fun if there was something they’ve always wondered about. If the kids are old enough, they can take notes, write the answer into a paragraph or two, and read it during dinner. For younger children, have an older child or adult help, and perhaps coach the little ones on how to tell the story later.

• Have an assortment of old photographs handy and ask everyone to choose one that has a story behind it (where they were, why, who with, event, etc). They can share the story at dinner or sometime during the day.

Check back for more ideas on how to get the most out of Family Stories month!

The book “Write Your Life Story in 28 Days" provides hundreds of life topic questions. To order, visit my website at www.lifestorylady.com and click on the "books" link.

The Return of Christmas Clubs

Some of you may remember the old "Christmas Club" accounts that were popular until the 1980's or 90's. It was nothing more than a savings account, but the money saved was to be earmarked for Christmas shopping. These accounts faded away as credit cards and lay-away became more popular. But now, in response to tough economic times, and high credit card interest, K-Mart, Sears, and other are bringing back lay-away and Christmas Clubs.

The following story was sent to me by my friend Vince. Think about your own Christmas Club, or Christmas saving memory, and feel free to share it in the comments.

Starting when I was about eight years old, about once a month, my mother would take me to the bank where I deposited money into my own Christmas Club account. This was money that I earned shoveling snow, cutting lawns, running errands for neighbors or picking fruit. Then in November about Thanksgiving time I would take out about $40 for Christmas shopping. My mother made me leave some money in to keep the account open to prime the pump for the next Christmas.

Many years later she told me that one of the reasons that she encouraged me to start a Christmas Club is so they I could tell my sisters that I couldn’t loan them any money because it was in the bank. (Apparently I was a soft touch).

There’s more to this story than just the Christmas Club account: there’s also the message that Vince’s mother was protecting him from his spendy ways and vulnerability, but made it seem like it was all his decision.  It’s what Moms do, and she did it well.

       

Service - a lost art - but a good memory

A couple of weeks ago I drove through New England. I loved the small towns, large trees, wide rivers, and narrow roads. I loved the people.  I spent a few hours in Kennebunkeport, Maine, enjoying the drive, the water, the shops, and had a glass of wine while sitting on an outdoor patio overlooking an inlet filled with boats.

As I was leaving the area I realized I needed to fill up with gas before heading into New Hampshire. I pulled into a small gas station in Wells, Maine.  It immediately reminded me of the stations from my childhood; there was no convenience store nor car wash. Instead, I saw a small office and a two-bay garage.  As I got out of the car, I noticed the three pumps were old... and there was no place near the pumps to pay by credit card. As I debated whether I should pump first or pay first, a man came out of the small office, opened my gas tank, lifted the hose handle and started pumping the gas.

Stunned, I said "you still do that?"  He just replied "Yup." Once the gas was flowing on automatic, he walked to the front of my car and began washing my windshield. I tried to keep my jaw from dropping too far. I hadn't seen that since the early sixties! I asked "Have you always lived in this area?"  "Yup" He said again. Trying once more to make conversation, I said "It's a beautiful area."  To this, I got a longer reply; "Used to be... til they ruined it." 

I assumed "they" were tourists, and since I was obviously one of those, I decided it was in my best interest to not pursue the matter.  I handed him my debit card, and he went into the office and ran it through a manual sliding credit card processor. The office could not have changed much in fifty years. Auto parts and supplies were crammed into every possible nook.

I would have loved nothing more than to take pictures, and sit down and have a conversation with this man who still provided a full-service gas station. But something told me he would not be amenable to it at that time. I think I'd probably have to live there a few years and gas up there every week before he would accept me enough to have a full conversation with me.

Still, the memories it brought back – of my Dad pulling into his favorite Esso station and saying "Gimmee a coupla dolla's worth", and having the windshield washed and the water and oil checked – made me smile and remember more instances of service that have changed over the years.

While buying gas doesn't seem like the kind of story we'd write for our children and grandchildren, we need to remember that in this age of self-service, technology, and debit cards, most of them have never seen someone come out and pump our gas for us.

When writing your life stories, don't forget to add the simple details we used to take for granted, but that are now things of the past.  They may be minor changes - but they're sill major memories.

Frank McCourt dies - Most Memorable Memoir

I just read that the author of Angela's Ashes - Frank McCourt - has passed away at age 78. Though he was less known, his death saddens me 100 times more than the recent death of a pop-star. Because Frank McCourt inspired me in two areas that affected my life greatly.

First; in reading his memoir, Angela's Ashes, I was struck by not only the beauty of his writing style, but by the way he could take a seemingly ordinary life, and turn it into a mesmerizing story. It got me thinking about my grandmother's life. She was 91 in 1997, when I first read Angela's Ashes. Her life had not been as devastatingly poor as that of McCourt, yet I knew that as the youngest of 10 kids, raised on a farm in Maryland, it had not been easy. Then I thought about how little I actually knew of her early life, and I decided then and there, that I was going to get the story out of her. And over the next several years, I did. I gave her the finished book for her 98th birthday. She lived almost another 4 years.

The satisfaction I derived from that project helped me establish my career as a Personal Historian and author of two books on memoir-writing. All because I read Angela's Ashes. I wish I had written McCourt to thank him.

The second area of influence came from his descriptions of Ireland and the people. They created a strong desire in me to see Ireland, which I did in 2004, 2005, and 2008. Once was not enough! On my first trip, I spent 2 nights in Limerick, the town so vividly described by McCourt. I took a walking "Angela's Ashes" tour, seeing the various locations from the book. Then I read the book again.

And though I hadn't thought about it before, it just struck me that he has inspired me in a third way. In reading his obituary, I discovered that he wrote his first book at age 66. Maybe it finally made an impact on me because I'm so much closer to that age now than I was when I first became aware of him. If he achieved such great success at that age - there's still hope for me!

Thanks, Frank McCourt. I'll miss you.

Celebrity Legacies

David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Karl Malden... all people we've lost within the last few weeks. They may be gone, but their lives will live on through all that has been written about them. They may have written their own memoirs, or they'll just live through the stories, books, articles, that have been written over the years. Most will be true - but much of it may not be.

Some public figures leave more of an imprint on our world than others, but just about any individual in the public eye will have at least a brief biography published somewhere, accessible to anyone interested.

But what about the rest of us? How will our stories be preserved for future generations, or anyone who wants to learn more about who we were and how we lived?

Well... it's up to us to write our own life stories. And that's not a bad thing. In telling our own story, we make sure it's right - or at least our version of "right." We have the opportunity to review where we've been, look at where we are now and how we got here, and use that information to figure out where we want to go and how to get there. We can enjoy reliving the happy times, and appreciate how we overcame the difficult times.

If you haven't written your story yet - what are you waiting for? Life is short. Start writing now, and keep adding as you live.  Maybe you'll be inspired to live more fully, so you'll have exciting things to write about!

Mother's Day Contest

Mother's Day is naturally a time to recognize and honor those women who raised us, and made us who we are. It's also a good time to learn more about who they are... where they came from, what challenges they've had to overcome, and successes they've enjoyed in life.

Here's an opportunity to share a bit about your Mom's life, and perhaps learn even more.

Write an essay describing why you think your Mom (or woman who raised you) has had an unusually interesting life. The winner will receive a copy of the book "Write Your Life Story in 28 Days", and a free two-hour interview* of your Mom, Grandmother, or other subject of your essay (should be the person who raised you). The interview notes will be compiled into a booklet and given to the winner.

Rules are as follows:

Essay must be 500 words or less, and should tell why your subject's life was unusually interesting.

Essay must be about your mother, grandmother, or person who raised you, who is still living.

Include the essay in the body of an email to deedees@lifestorylady.com. It must be received by Thursday, May 7th.

Winner will be announced by Saturday, May 9th.

*If the subject of the essay lives within 50 miles of downtown Phoenix, a two-hour personal interview will be conducted with them. If they live farther away, a questionnaire will be mailed, which can be completed and returned.

The completed life-booklet will be mailed to the recipient within 60 days of the interview or the receipt of the completed questionnaire.

Have fun!   And Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day Contest

Life Story Writing Books available again!

Thanks to a wonderful article in the Deseret News in early December, I completely sold out of all copies of both my books. I'm happy to report that I now have more of one of the books – "Write Your Life Story in 28 Days" – available.

The other book – "LifeNotes - Recording Your Memories... the Legacy of a Lifetime" – is going through some revisions to bring it up to date with technology, and will be available again sometime in March (I hope).

If you want to order the "... 28 Days" book, you can go to my website...  www.lifestorylady.com

Click on the Books tab, then on the Buy button at the bottom of the book description.

Christmas is over, but this would also be a great gift for birthdays, Valentine's Day, Mother's & Father's Days. And it's a book that does double duty. Give the book itself as a gift... or, better yet... use the book yourself, to write your life story - and give to those you love.

Remember... your story is the Legacy of a Lifetime... YOUR Lifetime!
Happy writing!

A New Year - A New Start

Happy 2009!


Many of us establish Resolutions each January, only to have them go by the wayside within a few days or weeks. If you've been thinking about getting started on your life story, what better time than a New Year to begin? You've heard the old - or maybe not so old - saying "Just Do It." Apply that to getting your story written this year.

This Christmas, my daughter gave me one of the most unexpected and treasured gifts I have ever received - the story of her life to date! She's only 32, but she wrote about her childhood, her jobs, college days, meeting her soulmate, marriage, and the birth of her first son. I literally burst into tears when I opened it and realized what she had done. The icing on the cake was that she used my book "Write Your Life Story in 28 Days" as the guide. She started it on November 8th, and it was done by Christmas.

I tell you this, because it doesn't matter how old you are - everyone can and should start recording their life's experiences where they are right now.

It doesn't have to be any more difficult than a few paragraphs a day, or maybe one longer story a week, or however it works for you. If you don't have my book "Write Your Life Story in 28 Days", you might want to try it. It'll help you get the most important events of your life written down in a short amount of time.

Feel free to leave a post here if you run into problems or have questions. And if the writing is going well, let me know that too. I may want to use some of your experiences in this blog if you're willing to share your stories.

If you just don't know where to start, here's are some exercises you can try...

* Write about a New Year's Resolution you've kept - or one you'd like to follow through on.
* Write about a memorable New Years Eve in your life
* Write down where you'd like to be in your life... this time next year.

Use the Holidays to Capture Memories

No matter which holiday you celebrate, you'll probably be getting together with family. This is a perfect time to capture some of their memories and stories – to learn about the events in a loved one's life. Whether you're sitting around the table for Christmas dinner, or attending a party or gathering of another sort, take the time to ask meaningful questions of your loved ones. Ask to hear the story of how your parents or grandparents met; find out why your Dad chose one branch of the service over another, or how your Mom got involved in being a volunteer with her favorite cause.

You'll know the questions to ask – the important thing is to ask them! Have someone write down the answers, and you'll have a good start on writing a family history. It could even be that just knowing you're interested will inspire those special people to write their own life stories.

Don't miss this opportunity to learn more about those you love. The opportunity may not always be there – grab it while you can! It can be the gift of a lifetime!

For more information on how to get the stories written, you might want to order the book "Write Your Life Story in 28 Days." It's available from Authorhouse (888-280-7715)

Also check back often for upcoming workshops in the Phoenix, AZ area.

Whether you celebrate Christmas or any of the other beautiful holidays, I wish you all Joy, Peace and Love, and a Happy and Prosperous New Year.